never give up

 

" And she said: don't give up your dreams yet!

the other girl answered: why not? I've lost everything! there's nothing to fight for!

She: there's always something to fight for! fight for your heart, for your dreams. Fight for your love, for your feelings, just please, don't give up, keep fighting, don't go away...

the other girl: there's nothing I can do, I have to go. I'm really sorry.

and when the other girl left, the first one burst out crying. now, she had lost her best friend, her last friend. she had no one left. but she got up and said, strongly:

I'm never going to give up fighting. Never, ever.  

miss you

I miss you, every day, every hour, every time I look at the past, I think of you, and I wish we could just be together as before;
I search my photos at the computer, then, your face appears at some of these photos, smiling at me. And it hurts, it hurts deep in my heart, because I think I'll never see your smile again;
Memories of us, laughing, playing, dancing, and... well, just being together and enjoying every moment of it. But now, these moments are gone.
There was no day, I didn't think of you, you were always there, in my mind, in my happiest memories. I remember, that you taught me so much things... I remember, too, that when I was with you, I was never sad. The only sad things we said to eachother, was "goodbye".
And it hurted even more, when we said goodbye, knowing this could be our last goodbye.
I remember, that we conspired against your sister and her stuffed dog. It was so fun!
I don't know if you feel this way too, but I feel like there's a missing part of me, and this part, it's with you.

teenage dream

"you make me, feel like I'm living a teenage dream..."

wishes

Well, today I'm going to tell my secret wishes:
- I wish I was popular;
- I wish I could go to parties every weekend;
- I wish I had money to go shopping;
- I wish I had a cute boyfriend;
- I wish that, to say sorry, would be easy, simple. And the person would forgive me easily;
- I wish I had a best friend like the movies;
- I wish I could get so drunk I wouldn't even remember my name;

These are some of my secret wishes, but I know, that every teenager in the world, wishes something like that.

what to do

What to do, when you are lost?

What to do, when you are feeling lonely?
Where to run?
Which path to choose?
What to do?
I probably don't know, I have no one. I am just another person in the world, living alone under a bridge. I am nothing, near the whole world. My acts won't change anything. My choices won't afect anyone.
I haven't always been like this, you know, pessimist. When I was a child, I used to think everything was gonna be all right, everybody would be ok. But I was wrong. When I was, I think 12, my mom started to feel sick. And then, suddenly, without warning, without fanfare, without preparation, she had a baby, and died, leaving the baby to my care. My little brother. He was so small, and I did not know how to handle him. My father had left long ago, and I doubted my bother's father would come back to us.
So I left my brother at the door of a house where there lived a childless couple, I waited until morning, they opened the door, saw my brother, and adopted him. I was happy in that moment, but only a few hours later, I was crying my heart out. Once, I had everything, a mother, a brother, a father. Even if I didn't have a house, or went to school, I was happy. Truly happy. But now, there was I. Alone in the world with only 12 years. I grew up thinking I was alone, thinking I was going to die. Everytime I went to sleep, the same nightmares plagued me. Night after night.
Some years later, when I was 17, I found a guy, he was wonderfull to me. Even thought I was a homeless girl, he loved me. We stayed together, and I got pregnant. But then, the unpredictable. There was him, there was a car. The car was running, he was crossing the street. The car hit him. In a moment, he was alive, in the other, he wasn't. I was completely broken. All I wanted, was to die. But and the baby inside of me? He needed someone. He needed to live. I decided to do my best to take care of him.
And, well, here I am, alone, weak, thin, starving, tired, ill, pregnant and homeless... But I know, that someday, I'll be happy again.
I just don't know what to do.

wonder

I wonder what it feels, to be loved.
I wonder how it feels, to love.
I wonder how it feels, to have someone you could call yours.
But I'll just keep wondering. Because these days, all the boys are GAYS.

childhood#2